By: Tony

Lost my new favorited hat. 

Purchase from a street corner to keep the wind from my scalp. 

Chosen for its color which matched the silver-grey design in my navy scarf. 

When does self-love become narcissism, the title of a seminar I attended the next day that taught me nothing of either self-love or narcissism? 

What I did learn was friendship comes in many forms and shows up unexpectedly.

A surface look at narcissism through social media. 

We don’t Instagram.

A long walk on a lovely mild night in March to a restaurant that can’t fit three women of color for over an hour. 

Two statuesque blonds go right in. 

A Lyft to a different restaurant with the same name. 

A table in the center straight away. 

Good food, drinks, conversation, time flies. 

A tipsy walk to an Uber a block away. 

Talk of gentrification, art exhibitions, spectacle, in mixed company. 

Two blocks to my hotel with feigned sobriety. 

Sleep. 

Morning.

What happened to my new favorite hat?

by K. Osorio-Teamer

My mom told me Tuesday the 13th was the Nicaraguan Friday the 13th. She always said it wasn’t a day of bad luck, but just luck. Whether it was bad or good was entirely our decision. We had the power to steer the course of our day.

She was also into spreading good luck. If she found a penny that was tail side up, she’d flip it and leave it for the next person to find. A penny facing heads up was good luck. 

My mom claimed to disapprove of psychics and witchcraft, but she could tell how many kids you’d have. She’d have someone make a fist and count the wrinkles on a particular section of the fist. She’d even read your life line and tell you if you had a long or short future ahead of you. 

Then there were the dreams. She knew when my dad got a speeding ticket and predicted a number of births and deaths in the family. 

My mom’s deep faith in Catholicism made her reject these obvious witchy tendencies. Thinking back to them now my witchcraft makes sense. Brujeria runs in the blood. 

by S.L. Jordan

“I’m pregnant” I said or mumbled if the lack of response was any indication.

I repeated myself.

Again, no reaction.

“I’M PREGNANT!” I screamed.

Everyone paused and glanced around the room in confusion. I could see the exact moments my words penetrated their inebriated brains.

Mais was the first to react with a dramatic leap across the room as she knocked the solo cup from my hand and into the air.

This time it was Lenore who screamed in abject horror as we all watched the cup twirl in the air over the buttercream rug she had just been bragging about earlier. As the cup made its downward trajectory, her sigh of relief was audible as the clear liquid spilled out onto the rug.

“Sparkling water” I said deadpanned to Mais and Lenore’s back as she ran to grab whatever concoction she used to keep her neutral-colored apartment pristine.

“Thank God!” was her muffled reply, and I couldn’t be surprised that even in this moment she still found a way to steal a bit of the spotlight.

I turned to the rest of the crew and waited.

“Who’s the baby daddy?” Renee asked. She had taken a seat on the couch near Amare, who had yet to react outside of reluctantly turning down the music.

The rest of the girls smacked their lips and rolled their eyes. “Who do you think?” Mais said, and she turned to go refill her drink. She had already checked out of the conversation; I could tell by the way she lingered in the kitchen as they peppered me with more questions.

“A girl can hope, can’t she?” Renee quipped. She was no fan of my boo.

“So, I take it, this is your way of telling us we’re about to be aunties?” Lenore asked from the floor. She had returned and was gently patting her rug. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, there wasn’t even anything there to remove. Lenore was Lenore.

I shrugged and replied, “Yeah, I guess it is … I mean. I’m 34. Right?”

“Yeah, you are” Amare said. Finally. Her silence was killing me. “Does he know?”

I shook my head. No.

She stared at me with those black eyes. Eyes that knew more than everyone else.

I looked away.

The sound of the clinking ice from Mais’s drink filled the room.

“Well, are you going to tell him?” Renee asked. She looked from Amare to me, and back again. Amare was staring out of the window refusing to address anyone. Renee was a smart woman and was probably picking up on the tension between us.

“My doctor just confirmed the results from the at-home test today, and he doesn’t get back from his

conference until next Tuesday, and I think this is a conversation best had in person, no?” I was rambling. I had not even been drinking the sparkling water, but the cup gave me something to do with my hands. I don’t know why I was so nervous. I was an adult. I had been working as a C.P.A at my firm for almost 10 years now. I made good money. These were my friends. They wouldn’t judge me for being a single mother. I knew all of that and yet – there was a tension in my body. Wound as tight as a coil.

Rearranging the overstuffed pillows Lenore had covering her chaise lounge, I laid back and tried to breathe. I honestly had no idea how Jaise would act. We had been going through this up and down roller coaster of a relationship for the last three years, and I just figured that while this may not be what he had

planned, but as a 37-year-old man he would step up to the plate. But if I were being honest, I don’t think that was it either. Even if he ran for the hills screaming, I knew I could handle this. It’s not like I would be doing it totally alone. I had my family, and this crazy group of girls that I loved dearly.

Our original plans of dinner were canceled in favor of delivery. We stayed in and spent the rest of the night talking. It almost felt like college again.

I didn’t think anyone had noticed how Amare hadn’t said anything else to me for the rest of the night, but when Renee got ready to go, she motioned for me to follow her into the back.

I waited for her to go into the back before following behind her.

“What’s up?” I whispered as I closed the patio door behind me.

“You tell me” she said, “what’s up with Amare?” she asked. Fumbling around in her jacket pocket, she pulled out her vape and almost took a hit before noticing the look on my face.

“Fuck. I forgot that quick.”

“I don’t know” I said shrugging casually, “you know how she gets.”

I wrapped my arms tightly across my body and forced a shiver.

“I’m going back in. Its freezing our here.” I said.

Renee chuckled, “Pregnancy already changing you! I used to have to drag you in.”

We walked back inside, and she waved bye to everyone as she left to catch her ride share.

And like it usually goes, once the first person leaves everyone else decides its time to make that same move.

Mais, being the perpetual party girl that she is, had friends picking her up to continue the night. She pecked me on my cheek before whispering in my ear, “I am truly happy for you mama bear”. I didn’t realize how much I needed at  

least ONE of them to say that. I shouldn’t even be shocked that it was Mais. She came off so flighty and nonchalant, but she was the nicest out of us all.

Amare still hadn’t said much to me, and I half expected her to try and leave before I did just to avoid any questions, I might have for her. But she didn’t. She stayed and helped Lenore and I finish straightening up. Lenore’s constant chatter filled the room and all I had to do was add the appropriate comment here and there to keep her going.

When everything was finished, I dragged my feet gathering my belongings, hoping Amare would leave. She did not. I could not put off the inevitable any longer. I hugged Lenore, and quickly skipped from the room.

I chided myself for not taking the stairs when Amare approached the elevators.

I braced myself. We were alone now. Surely, she would say how she really felt about my announcement.

She said nothing.

We stepped onto the elevator in unison and went to opposite corners. Her in the back and I in the front.

G3.

I turned to gesture to select her floor.

She stepped forward and slid her hand in front of me as she pressed the emergency brake.

The elevator jerked to a halting stop. I stumbled backwards and turned to glare at her.

She was just standing there. Staring at me. With those black eyes.

“Is” she said stepping forward.

“this” she stepped closer

“What” and closer.

“You” and closer.

“Want?” until she was directly in front of me.

My reflection reflecting from those black eyes.

She posed to take another step, that would put us breast to breast.

I inhaled.

She kissed me.

I kissed her back.

The tension washed away as she deepened the kiss.

Once she pulled her lips from mine, I realized she had started the elevator back. The doors opened to parking garage.

She walked out and didn’t look back.

I stayed in the elevator, in that corner where she left and touched my lips.

I didn’t know what I wanted.